


we really are special, aren’t we?

by gabrielleholland



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, but in that soulmate au where the stuff you write on your skin shows up on your soulmate, its basically like their texts, kinda epistolary?, set from pre-canon to post-endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-10 07:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17421974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabrielleholland/pseuds/gabrielleholland
Summary: The communications of Michelle Jones and Peter Parker, soulmates who happen to have physical mark transfer, emotional transfer, musical transfer and pain transfer. Also they might share eyeballs?Oh yeah, and one of them is Spider-Man.





	we really are special, aren’t we?

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this before the ffh trailer so there’s like no reference to that film at all. i did address infinity war but in as roundabout a way as possible, like i don’t mention how much time passes after the snap and i don’t feature any character deaths (unless you count peter getting snapped?). also this is written before endgame so like,,,,i got no clue what the fuck is up with that.
> 
> also just wanna say here that ffh trailer gave me LIFE “i think you’re pretty too” wow they’re really out here for my whole ass heart goddamn
> 
> (also in case i didn’t make it obvious enough, bold is mj and italics is peter)

——————

 

_hello?_

   _is anyone there?_

_there are drawings on my arm that i know i didn’t do and for the past week i’ve been getting ink stains on my hands that i’m 100% sure aren’t mine_

_am i going crazy?_

   **Read 12:36 AM**

   _wow my soulmate’s a comedian_

   **Comedienne**  

   _same difference. is this really going to be our first conversation?_

   **I don’t know, is it?**

   _we should introduce ourselves. i’m_

   **Don’t.**

   _what?_

   **Don’t tell me your name. Please.**

   _why not?_

   **I’d prefer you remain a nameless nothing.**

  **Just for now.**

   _oh_

_ok_

_so..._  

   **Dude, it’s past midnight. Go to sleep.**  

   _but i have a soulmate!!! that’s so cool!!! how are you not freaking out???_

   **It’s an extremely common occurrence.**

   _not really. isn’t it only like 46% of the population or something?_

   **It’s common enough that you should go to sleep.**

  _i can’t. i can hear you humming. it’s very distracting_

   **Wait, what?**

   _yeah, you’re humming some classical music. beethoven? you’ve stopped, i can’t tell_

   **It was Mozart. How the hell can you hear what I’m humming?**

   _isn’t that one of the common ways soulmates pop up?_

   **Yeah, but soulmates don’t commonly have two ways of communication.**

   _huh. i guess we’re special then_

   **Sing something.**

   _what?_

   **Or hum, whatever.**

   _i can’t just sing something when you tell me to_

_that’s weird_

   **Oh, like this wasn’t already weird? We’re talking through goddamn pens to skin. That’s weird.**

  _i thought you said this was common enough to go to sleep_

_fine_

   **This is so weird. I can hear you in my head.**

   _let me just circle around your previous message on this already being weird_

   **Oh so we’re being snarky now.**

    **I’ll draw a penis in permanent marker.**

   _you wouldn’t dare_

   **Watch me.**

   _it’ll still show up on your skin too_

_hello?_

_oh my god_

_uncool_

   **Read: 12:44 AM**

 

——————

 

  _i liked your cover of can’t help falling in love_

   **Shut up.**

   _it was really sweet!_

   **I’m never singing ever again.**

   _but you’re a great singer!_

   **One more word and I’ll write ‘Jar Jar Binks is underrated’ on my forehead.**

  _i feel like you forget that the writing still shows up on you_

   **I’ll suffer gladly.**

   _you’re sadistic_

 

——————

 

   _i’m freaking out_

   **Everything okay?**

   _no!!!_

   **Can you tell me what’s happening?**

_i feel weird and different_

   **Welcome to puberty.**

   _firstly don’t ever say that word again_

_secondly it’s not THAT kind of different_

   **Okay you’re kinda weirding me out, can you explain more? Is this a medical emergency?**

   _i can see_

   **And that’s different?**

   _i don’t have my glasses on and i can see. my vision is about as bad as you can go and somehow i can see_

   **Oh. That is weird.**

   _and there’s a whole bunch of other stuff that’s changed and it’s freaking me out_

   **What other stuff?**

**Are you okay?**

**What’s going on?**

**It’s been an hour, dude. Are you alright?**

**It’s been two days, this is the longest you’ve ghosted me. I need to know, for my conscience, that you’re safe.**

   _i’m fine. i’ll be fine. just forget it, please._

   ** ~~But~~  **

**Okay**

 

——————

 

   **Hey, are you alright? You haven’t said anything in a while.**

  _i knew you secretly cared_

   **I don’t.**

   _awww, you do!_

   **I don’t. I’d just prefer to know why the asshole who hits up my arm every other hour suddenly stopped for a whole week.**

   _you care_

   **If I suspect you’re doing something illegal I’m obligated to inform legal authority, which means I need more info so they don’t think I’m crazy. I am just being a functioning member of society. Also, you’re avoiding the question.**

   _i don’t really want to talk right now_

   **Is this about that weird thing that happened that you refuse to tell me about?**

  _~~no~~_

_~~yes~~_

_i don’t know_

_i just really don’t want to talk right now_

   **Tell me what happened, I can help.**

   **I want to help.**

  _~~my uncle was murdered by a goddamn mugger and it was my fault~~_

   _you’re dead set on not knowing who i am. if i tell you you’ll know because it’s been on the news and you’re smart so you’ll connect the dots and then you’ll know who i am and you said you don’t want that_

  ****~~I know what I s~~****

   _are you singing?_

   **Mention it ever and I’ll paint a photorealistic picture of a naked Thor on my chest.**

   _where’s the downside with that_

   **Naked. Hulk.**

  _oh dear god no_

_thank you_

_for the song, not the threat_

_to be clear_

_it was nice_

**~~I thought I said to never ment~~**

**You’re welcome. I hope you’re okay.**

 

——————

 

   _this isn’t fair_

   **Well, life isn’t fair.**

   _i should be allowed a say in this! i get that you don’t want to have to see me as an actual person and even though it hurts i understand why and i don’t want to pressure you but why can’t i know anything about you? it’s not fair!_

   **You can’t force me to tell you about myself.**

   **And you know plenty about me.**

   _yeah, okay. i know you’re fourteen like me and that you like art and that you’re sarcastic and cool and that you hate emotions and you hate me_

   **I’ve never said that.**

   _i don’t even know if you like having me as a_

_as a whatever this is_

_a frien_

_oh, real mature._

_now my entire arm is purple and i have to explain to my aunt why i’m wearing long sleeves in the middle of summer and that i have a soulmate i didn’t tell her about._

_i don’t even know your name! i don’t know where you’re from! i don’t know if i’ll ever meet you_

   **My friends call me MJ**

   _all i know is that you hate my exis_

_oh_

   **I live in Queens, New York.**

**Happy?**

**And I don’t hate your existence.**

   _am i allowed to add to my existence? cement myself as a person?_

   **Whatever.**

   _i live in queens too_

   **Oh.**

   _can i give you my name_

**Just your initials, like with mine.**

**I can’t handle anything more right now**

_don’t be mean about it._

   **Why would I be mean about it? This is already an extremely emotionally charged moment that I already hate.**

   _promise me you won’t be mean._

   **Fine.**

   _pp_

   **P.P?**

   _did you just stagger writing those two letters to mime mocking_

   **P.**

**P.**

   _you’re childish_

   **Does the P stand for Potcallingthekettlechildish?**

   _if you’re gonna be like that, my initials are now PB_

_actually i’d prefer if you used that_

   **Okay, Princess Bubblegum.**

   _does that make you my Marceline?_

   _okay i’m sorry for saying that I know you don’t like that_

   _mj?_

**Yeah?**

   _i’m sorry for breaking your boundaries_

   **It was going to happen eventually.**

**I’d still prefer that I don’t know who you are, though.**

   _ok_

_goodnight, mj._

 

——————

 

   _hey mj?_

   **Yes?**

   _if you knew there was a way to help people, but that it could be dangerous and that it might endanger the people you care about, would you still do it?_

   **I don’t really know.**

   **Everything okay?**

   _but if you had the power to help people, isn’t it your responsibility to use it?_

   **I guess, yeah. What’s bringing this on?**

   _nothing. just curious._

 

——————

 

   _weird question but what colour are your eyes_

   **Brown, why?**

   _light or dark_

   **I don’t know, they’re just brown.**

   _can you check in the mirror_

   **You’re being weird**

   _yeah well i also think one of my eyeballs has been yours this whole time so yeah maybe i’m acting a little weird_

  **Oh my god.**

_i know right?_

   **One is definitely lighter than the other.**

**How have I never noticed that?**

   _I KNOW RIGHT? i was checking in the mirror earlier and i think i got whiplash_

   **How much were you preening to notice this?**

   _i wasn’t preening_

   **Uh huh.**

   _i got punched and i was checki_

   **You got punched!? Are you okay!?**

**Don’t try and wipe that away! What happened!**

   _nothing happened it's fine i was just preening_

   **No you weren’t, what happened!?**

   _fine i got into a fight and got punched in the face but i’m ok_

   **YOU WERE PUNCHED IN THE FACE??? AND YOU'RE ‘OK’???**

   _yeah i’m fine it’s healing it’s fine_

_please don’t freak out because you’re freaking me out_

   **Sorry that I freaked out after HEARING YOU WERE PUNCHED?**

   _oh so now you want me to be a person and not some faceless entity_

   **Oh my god is this really the time?**

**Wait.**

**Are you angry? Did you just get angry?**

   _yeah no duh mj_

**No, I just got angry.**

   **One minute I was absolutely grossed-out freaked and then it suddenly turned to anger.**

**Oh my god do we have an emotional transfer too???**

  _well my anger’s just washed away and all i can feel is this mix of curiosity and some kind of exasperation so i guess_

_we really are special, aren’t we?_

 

——————

 

   _the eye thing is still really grossing me out._

   **Yep, it’s weird as fuck.**

**And I mean, why do we even have to have it? We already have the writing thing, emotional transfer AND I can hear the goddamn Harry Potter theme every time you watch it.**

   _hey! you can’t just watch harry potter and NOT hum along_

_it’d be cooler if we had different coloured eyes, not just brown. this girl i like has one brown eye and one blue eye, it’s so cool._

   **Girl you like?**

   _soulmates doesn’t mean you can’t get crushes_

_are you jealous?_

   **Jealous?**

   _you forget i can literally feel your emotions_

   **Why on Earth would I be jealous?**

   _you tell me!_

   **What, stroke your ego more than you already have been? I’m not jealous.**

   _okey-dokey_

   **I’m not talking to you for the next week.**

   _damn, rip_

   **Wait, one blue eye, one brown eye?**

   _yeah, why?_

   **I know a girl like that too.**

   _huh. maybe your girl and my girl are soulmates._

   **Yeah, maybe.**

 

——————

 

   **Can you explain to me why I just woke up with bruises? And before you ask, I can only see them and I can’t feel the pain from them so they’re definitely not mine.**

   _fuck_

   _is this another soulmate thing we’ve accumulated? i’ve read this is something some people get_

   **Great. Will you explain?**

  _i do karate_

   **You hesitated.**

   _i dropped my pen, had to pick it back up_

   **Sure.**

   _yeah i do karate. i’m guessing that’s why you get those surges of emotion sometimes_

   _the excitement and stuff_

**I just wanna say this but I’m so glad I only get your emotions when you feel them strongly because I doubt I could handle them 24/7**

**You’re so positive.**

**And you’re lying about the karate.**

 

——————

 

   _what do you think of superheroes?_

   **Huh?**

   _like captain america and iron man and spiderman and all them_

   **Is Spider-Man really on the same level as Iron Man and Captain America?**

   _wow, rude_

   _but like what do you think of them?_

   **I mean, I think they’re important. The military can’t face intergalactic threats like The Incident or Sokovia. But I don’t think we should let them just have free reign, both of those accidents had huge casualties, some of which were directly because of the Avengers. And that recent thing, with Wanda Maximoff. It was an accident but it was an accident that resulted in the deaths of innocents. The Avengers need some kind of control.**

**Not by the US government though, of course. Wouldn’t trust them with a quarter.**

   **Sorry, had to write than on my leg. Didn’t all fit on my arm.**

   _wow that’s a lot more comprehensive than i expected_

   **I have lots of opinions.**

   _so you think the avengers do need some rules? like those sokovia accords?_

   **They’re a start, sure. But like I said the US government shouldn’t be in control of them. We don’t need another Cold War.**

   _oh. okay. thanks_

   **Any time I guess? What brought this on?**

  _nothing. just curious._

 

——————

 

   _do you ever wonder if we know each other?_

   **Of course. I worry that I’m going to have to actually speak to you and find out you’re even more annoying in person.**

   _sometimes i wonder if you go to my school_

   **Don’t do this. You know how I feel about it.**

  _i know, but it’s just_

_you can’t stop me from being curious. i’ll never actively go out and look for you, but i can’t stop myself from wanting to know._

   **Can you stop feeling so annoyed? It’s making me annoyed, and that in itself is annoying me and this feels like a goddamn emotional loop of annoying and the only way I’m ever able to endure those is by singing because it drowns it all out but then you fucking hear it and it’s like nothing I do is my own anymore I’m just some other goddamn half**

   _mj you need to calm down, i can see blood in the ink, you’re pressing too hard into your skin_

   **Now you’re making me anxious and worried!**

   _put down the pen and lay back and breathe_

_focus on my voice_

   **You’re a terrible singer.**

**But thank you.**

   _this soulmates thing gets inconvenient, huh?_

_sorry again, i know you hate that word_

   **You’re really humming the Jurassic Park theme?**

**You’re a loser.**

**But thanks, Bubblegum.**

   _anytime, vampire queen_

 

——————

 

   **Can you please stop humming that dork star wars song you’re listening to, it’s driving me insane.**

   _did you just call the cantina theme ‘that dork star wars song’_

   **You’re a nerd.**

**And a loser.**

**And now you’re singing louder.**

**You’re an actual child.**

  

——————

 

   **You’re feeling really weirdly exhilarated and excited and kind of panicky and it’s freaking me out, are you okay?**

**You’re so happy and excited what the fuck is going on**

**You’re really freaking me out**

**This can’t be your ‘karate’, you’re never this intense**

**Oh my god are you having sex!?**

**Dude you’re making me feel weird can you please explain what’s going on?**

**Great now I feel exhausted, what the fuck are you doing?**

**I swear to God if you’re having sex you’re never allowed to do that again because that was the worst experience of my life.**

   _what, being happy?_

   **Dude! It’s been all day! What the fuck?**

   _ok firstly i was not having sex and i have no idea why that was your first theory_

   **It’s not the crazy of a conclusion to draw! All your emotions were stuff that would happen if you were having sex.**

   _can we agree to stop saying that because i don’t need someone reading my arm and questioning me about that_

   **Fine, can you please just explain what the hell that was?**

   _i had a karate tournament_

_big karate tournament_

   **You just hesitated**

   _no i didn’t_

   **Yes you absolutely did!**

**Oh, so you’re not replying.**

**Real mature.**

**Are you singing in german?**

   _the karate tournament was in germany, the song’s been stuck in my head_

   **So let’s get this straight.**

**Your german karate tournament was what made you go absolutely nutso crazy happy.**

**Jesus Christ you’re an awful liar.**

**I just looked up international karate tournaments in Germany, and there’s none right now.**

**What’s going on?**

   _just drop it, please_

_mj?_

   **Fine.**

 

——————

 

   **Do your cuts and bruises usually fade this quickly? I swear I had one of yours like an hour ago and it’s disappeared.**

   _i don’t know the intricate ins and outs of soulmate-ism_

_sorry, i know you hate that word_

   **You’re a real suspicious person, I hope you know that.**

**German karate tournaments that didn’t happen? Injuries that can’t be explained by your karate excuse?**

**Okay I’m going to ask you this and I’m being genuinely serious here, and I’d like a serious answer because as much as I hate to admit it I’m worried.**

**Are the injuries because of something happening at home?**

   _no!_

_no, they’re not. i promise you._

_and i’m not just trying to placate you. they’re not._

   **You still there?**

   _remember what i said about great power and great responsibility?_

   **Vaguely.**

   _i have the power to do things, and i use it to help people. it makes me happy and that’s why you feel exhilaration. it gets dangerous sometimes and that’s why bruises and cuts show up_

_i can’t tell you more than that_

_i can’t risk it_

   **But you’re safe, right?**

   _yeah, i’m safe. i promise_

 

——————

 

   **Hey, are you okay?**

**I thought I felt your emotions earlier except I was feeling that same emotion independent of you so I wasn’t sure if it was you or me.**

**You were so anxious and paranoid and scared and I don’t know what else and I just wanted to check if you were safe.**

   _yeah, i’m okay._

_do you mind if i talk to you about it?_

   **Of course I don’t mind.**

   _it’s just that you might be able to figure out who i am because of it_

   **Oh**

**You know what? You’re more important than that.**

   _awwwwww_

_you really DO care_

_that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me_

   **Nope. I’m never talking to you ever again.**

**Look, I’m genuinely worried, okay? I’m really shaken up. Your emotions and my emotions made another one of those feedback loops and it’s still in the back of my head.**

   _okay i’m sorry, that was stupid. can i still talk to you?_

   **Go ahead.**

   _did you hear about that washington monument thing? i was there and it just_

_i don’t know, it was just difficult_

   **You were at the Washington Monument today?**

   _yes?_

_mj?_

   ** ~~Are you~~**

  **Were you in the monument at the time?**

   _for a bit, yeah._

_is everything okay?_

_were you there?_

_if you need to talk, i’m here for you too_

   **I’ve got to go to sleep, the feedback loops echoing in my head.**

**Goodnight, Bubblegum.**

   _night, vampire queen_

  

——————

 

  **~~I think I might know who you are and it’s messing with me~~**  

  _you okay mj? there’s some crossed out stuff on my forearm, everything good?_

   **Yeah, everything’s fine.**

**I have some theories I’m mulling over.**

   _i kinda guessed that, i’ve been feeling a lot of confusion kinda emotions in the back of my head_

**I have some theories on a certain Spider-Man.**

   _oh_

_what kind of theories?_

**I don’t know yet. It’s like a triangle of people right now, but if I’m right a whole lot of stuff is going to make a whole lot of sense but also it’s going to mess everything up a whole lot.**

   _tell me if you need help_

   **I will.**

 

——————

 

   **What’s going on??**

**I feel like I’m being ripped apart**

**This has to be coming from you**

**Please reply, I think I’m going crazy**

**I can barely move this pen I think my body is literally being torn in two**

**PB please**

**I can’t even think**

**I don’t know what emotions are mine**

**I don’t even know if they are emotions**

**Everything is on fire and I can’t see or feel**

   _mj??_

_i’m here_

_are you okay?_

   **I blacked out from the pain, currently nursing a wicked headache, my brain is mush and my entire body feels like it’s on goddamn fire. Can you please explain what in all fuck is going on?**

   _i think we just got pain transfer too_

   **Yeah, I gathered that. What the hell happened?**

   _i messed up, and i’m so sorry_

_i’ve screwed up_

_you’re hurt and it’s my fault_

_i’m useless_

_~~he’s right, i’m nothing without~~_

_mj, i’m so sorry._

   **Nothing without what?**

   _it doesn’t matter_

_i’m sorry_

   **You’re not giving me any answers here.**

  _i know_

_i don’t_

_i’m sorry, again_

_i’ve quit karate, you won’t get anymore of my pain_

_mj?_

   **Just watching the news. You see that ferry thing?**

   _yeah, i saw_

   **You’d tell me if you were in trouble, wouldn’t you?**

**PB?**

   _goodnight, mj_

 

——————

 

   _i finally told my aunt about the soulmate thing_

   **It’s a wonder you kept it under wraps for so long.**

   _she said she knew already but that she didn’t want to impose_

   **You’re a terrible secret keeper.**

   _you don’t know the half of it_

   **Everything okay?**

  _yeah. my aunt and i had a heart to heart and it all just poured out. i’m ok though_

   **I’m glad.**

**You’d tell me if something was going on, wouldn’t you? I know I can be snippy but I’m not a total bitch, I do kind of reluctantly care about you.**

_i know. you’re just allergic to emotions_

_i talked to my aunt about all our stuff_

_like our soulmark stuff_

_she said she and my uncle had timers, and they counted down till they met_

_it faded when he died_

   **I’m sorry.**

   _so am i_

_you know, you’ve never seriously answered my question as to whether you wonder if we know each other_

   **I have theories.**

   _oh?_

   **I don’t know if I want to admit it to myself.**

   **It’s not that I hate soulmates, or that it’s some rebellious against-the-order not-like-other-girls thing. I just don’t like the notion that I’m not whole, you know?**

**It’s like everything about me is one half, like I share every bit of myself with someone.**

   **One of my goddamn eyeballs isn’t even my own.**

_i mean, i still think they’re your eyeballs. we just each share an eye color_

   **Still.**

   _will you ever want to know who i am?_

****~~I think I already do~~****

**I don’t know**

**I think it’ll be soon, though.**

**It’d be difficult to hide it forever.**

**Just not today. I’m getting a lot of your down-in-the-dumps emotions right now and it’s kinda messing with my head.**

   _sorry_

   **You don’t need to apologise for your emotions.**

**This is getting too heart-to-heartish. My innate need to hide behind a wall of snark is returning.**

   _i like your snark_

   **Dork.**

   _night, vampire queen_

   **Goodnight Bubblegum.**

 

——————

 

    **Hey, did anything end up happening with that girl you liked?**

    _what, jealous again?_

    **It’s like you’re asking for another photorealistic vagina on your cheek**

    _thanks a lot for that by the way, i had to wear my aunt’s foundation and it looked terrible_

    **You’re avoiding the question.**

    _i asked her to homecoming and she said yes_

    **I’m glad.**

    _are you going to homecoming?_

    **Yeah, I think I will. It’s a good place to observe dumb teenage behaviour.**

    _you going with anyone?_

    **Probably not. Might just go with some friends.**

    _this is the most awkward non-conversation i’ve ever had_

    **It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.**

_that makes no sense_

**Have fun with your date.**

  

——————

 

   **What’s going on??**

**Are you okay?**

**I can feel**

**I don’t**

**What’s happening to you?**

**I can’t breathe**

**I think I’m burning**

****~~I know that you’re Spider-Man and I know that you’re Peter Parker can you please explain what’s going on I’m so scared~~ ** **

   _i’m so sorry_

_i don’t know what else to say_

   **What happened**

   _you’ll know who i am if i say_

   **I already have a pretty damn good idea of who you are and I need to know what the hell is going on**

   _what?_

_you know you i am?_

   **That doesn’t fucking matter right now, last night was the worst experience of my life. I spent Homecoming locked in the girls’ bathroom having panic attack after panic attack and I have burns and my body feels like it’s been crushed and you need to tell me what the fuck happened.**

  _remember what i said about power and resp_

   **Yeah I fucking remember, can you get to the goddamn point.**

_i fought someone, they dropped a building on me and there was fire and i’m so sorry_

   **That’s not an answer.**

**They dropped a building on you?**

**Look, asshat, I know you’re Spider-Man. Pretty fucking obvious. Can you explain what on God’s goddamn green Earth happened?**

   _you know?_

   **No shit asshole!**

   _how long?_

**I suspected since Germany, the Washington Monument made it obvious and the ferry made it doubtless. The bruises and the dumb excuses wrapped it all up in a nice bow. Now can you PLEASE explain what happened.**

   _this guy was supplying queens with weapons made from alien tech. i went after him, he didn’t like that. he dropped a building on me, and i’m sorry you had to experience that. it was hard enough for me, i can’t imagine what it was like for you. he went after a plane of avengers and stark stuff and it crashed and i guess that’s where the fire came from. i’m so, so sorry you had to feel it all._

   **Thank you for telling me.**

   _i’ll quit_

**?**

   _i’ll quit being spider-man if it hurts you_

_mj?_

 

——————

 

   **You can’t quit.**

   _i will_

   **You can’t quit, because I don’t trust the police right now and the Avengers aren’t bothered by street-level stuff. There aren’t many people still out there fighting for the people. Hell’s Kitchen has Daredevil, Harlem has Luke Cage and Queens has our favourite swingin’ superhero.**

**I mean, I’d appreciate if you didn’t go out and get sucker punched or something. I get you have advanced healing or whatever but you get hurt a lot and it kinda hurts a lot.**

   _how do you know i have advanced healing?_

   **Your bruises go away after a half-hour. Sounds like advanced healing to me.**

   _oh_

   _i guess you were right about me not being a great secret keeper_

   **My sister loves you.**

 _?_  

   **You helped her a couple months ago when she was drunk. Some guy tried to take advantage and you made sure she got home safe. Thank you.**

**And my little brother worships you, he’s dressing as you for Halloween. Him and some of his classmates got lost on a field trip in Central Park and you helped them find their teacher. He says when he grows up he’s gonna be a superhero just like you.**

**So yeah, stick with being a superhero. Queens needs you.**

   _thanks mj_

   **Goodnight, Bubblegum.**

   _i feel like we don’t talk about how cutesy our nicknames for each other are._

   **They’re gone now, you’re back to being PP**

   _sleep tight, vampire queen_

  

——————

 

   **Are you mad? Your emotions are hard to decipher right now.**

  ~~_i don’t know_~~

_no, i’m not_

_how long have you known?_

   **I suspected you as in Peter Parker was Spider-Man, than I knew you as in my soulmate was and it all came together.**

   _that’s that triangle you mentioned_

   **Yeah.**

   **I’m sorry.**

**I should have told you that I knew earlier.**

   _yeah, maybe saying ‘my friends call me mj’ in front of our decathlon team and expecting me not to short circuit was a doomed plan_

   **Did you leave because of what I said?**

   _partly?_

_i mean, i had to leave because mr stark needed me but i don’t know if i could have continued to function in that room_

   **Mr Stark?**

**Tony Stark called you?**

  _well, technically happy did_

   **Happy?**

   _his assistant_

_i think he’d glare at me if i called him that to his face_

   **Why did Stark need you?**

  _asked if i wanted to be an avenger_

   **Tony Stark, AKA Iron Man, asked you to be an Avenger.**

   _yeah_  

   **You, Peter Parker, biggest dork in Queens.**

**Smallest***

   _hey, i’m not that short_

_just shorter than you_

   **Well what did you say??**

   _i said no_

   **How come? Don’t you idolise Stark?**

   _i’m 16, michelle_

_and i don’t know i thought about a lot of stuff and i think friendly neighbourhood spiderman is the best route for me_

   **I think you were right, Peter.**

   _thanks michelle_

 

——————

 

   _hey mj, you haven’t answered back in a while and i’ve been getting emotions off you whenever i write and it’s been weird at school and i don’t know what i’m saying here it’s like 3am i’m just worried you hate me_

   **I don’t hate you.**

**It’s just difficult.**

   _what is? how come?_

   **Talking to you now.**

   _because you know who i am?_

   **I guess.**

**Because now I’m not talking to the faceless, nameless PB, I’m talking to Peter Parker.**

**Who is my soulmate.**

   _but i’ve always been pb_

_and you’ve known for ages you i was_

**I know in theory that you’ve always been the one I’m talking to, but it’s still difficult because I have these two different perceptions of you that don’t mesh properly. It’s like a weird Venn diagram where nothing fits together.**

**And it’s not that I knew for ages. I ‘knew’ as in my brain put together the pieces and then I denied it until I convinced myself you weren’t, only my subconscious knew you were and now it’s all just complicated.**

   _how can i make it not complicated_

   **I don’t know, fix my brain?**

   _not quite sure i can do that_

   **It’s not your fault, before you start blaming yourself. Just me not being able to decipher emotional connections.**

**I’m sorry about Liz, by the way.**

**She was your brown-and-blue girl, right? I suppose she was mine too.**

   _i feel like i ruined her life_

_scratch that, i did ruin her life_

   **We text. She’s doing okay. She’s made some new friends and she’s been chatting with this guy Harry online.**

**That made you sad. Sorry.**

   _i’m not sad. well, i am. i just feel bad. i ruined her life_

   **Don’t take all the credit, her dad was the one supplying criminals with alien guns.**

   _yeah but_

_i don’t know_

_you wanna sit with me and ned at lunch tomorrow? properly, not just sitting five feet away and occasionally calling us losers._

   **Sounds good.**

**Hey, did you ever tell Ned about me?**

   _he knows i have a soulmate, he’s known since i first talked to you. he doesn’t know it’s you though_

   **Will you ever tell?**

   _only if you wanted me to_

   **Maybe not right away. I don’t know if I can handle the full force of Nedward if he found out about this.**

**I’m glad it’s you, Peter. Really, I am.**

   _same here, vampire queen_

 

——————

 

  **Did you really just go out and tell everyone you have a soulmate on live television?**

_the direct quote was ‘could all you criminals please not hit me too hard because me and my soulmate have a physical transfer and i’d prefer they didn’t have to feel every time i get punched’_

_so you’re welcome_

  **The internet exploded, Peter.**

   _yeah i saw that_

_i think it’s trending on twitter_

   **Yep, #whothespideyboo**

   **Tumblr’s declared you a queer icon**

   _seriously? how come?_

   **Because you corrected the interviewer when she said “so who’s the lucky girl?”**

**There’s like fifty Reddit AMAs of people claiming they’re your soulmate.**

**Hmm, top theory candidates are Black Widow and Thor.**

**Someone said Jessica Jones.**

**If you ever meet Jessica Jones, you better get her email address for me.**

**I hate to capitalise on my Spider-Man connection but Jessica Jones is my hero and I would swallow that shame to be able to talk to her.**

   _you were ok with me mentioning you, right? you’re not angry or anything?_

   **Can you feel any angry emotions?**

   _no_

   **Then no, I’m not angry. I was a bit surprised, but I’m not mad**

   _have you meshed the perceptions together yet?_

**?**

    _are you okay with me being peter parker and your soulmate?_

    **I think so. I still kinda hate that word though.**

    _sorry_

    **Not your fault. It’s just a really heavy word, you know?**

    _yeah, i know_

_my parents were soulmates. at least, that’s what may and ben said._

    **What did they have?**

**Sorry, I know you don’t like to talk about them.**

    _it’s fine. ben said they saw the world in black and white, and when they saw each other they saw color. i have vague memories of my mom explaining what it was like. she said it was like the world exploded._

_i wish i remembered more of them_

   **I’m sorry.**

_it’s okay. i’ve made my peace. what about you?_

   **My parents have marks where they touched for the first time. It’s on their palms, since they shook hands when they first met. My mom used to joke about how she was once scared her first interaction with her soulmate would be her slapping them. I think the marks were white before they met, red when they touched and turned black when mom died.**

   _i’m sorry about your mom. it sucks_

   **It really does, doesn’t it?**

_i can tell you’re getting stressed from the emotion. wanna come over and watch some movies with me and ned? we were gonna have an 80s horror movie marathon to prep for halloween._

   **Why not? But I swear to god if this is another ruse to trick me into watching another Star Wars marathon I will not hesitate to cover your face in dicks.**

  

——————

 

   **Hi I feel like I just got stabbed and there’s this weird mark on my abdomen that looks like a stab wound but without the stab so I’m making the educated assumption that you’ve been stabbed.**

   _i am so, so sorry mj_

   **Where are you? I’ll come find you. This doesn’t feel like a wound that’ll just be healed by your powers.**

   _i’m maybe five minutes away from your apartment, do you mind if i swing by?_

   **Obviously not, dumbass. YOU’VE JUST BEEN STABBED.**

   _it’s just kinda late is all_

   **God you’re an idiot.**

   _i’m at your apartment building, can you open your window so i can see which one’s yours_

_wow i feel creepy_

   **My very own Romeo.**

 

——————

 

   **Where are you?**

**Ned said you went to investigate the alien donut ship.**

**Peter?**

 

——————

 

  _mj?_

_can you please reply if you get this_

_michelle?_

_i don’t know where i am, i’m freaking out_

_i feel so empty_

_i feel dead_

 

——————

 

   **So the Avengers came back and explained everything.**

**May survived, if you’re wondering. Ned too, but his family’s gone. He’s been alternating between my place and your’s. May’s having a depressive episode, she only gets up to go to work. If you can even call it that, the hospital’s kinda makeshift now. My dad’s gone, but my siblings and me are okay.**

**Safe, at least.**

**Alive?**

**Are you even getting these?**  

 

——————

 

   _i never thought anything could be so grey and empty_

_my comms and karen and everything are down, i’ve just got a pen and emptiness_

_it’s so quiet without you_

_i never realised how much you took up my life_

_it’s weird not having your emotions in the back of my head or your humming or you replying with sarcasm to all my messages_

_i think i might be dead_

_there’s so much i wish i’d done_

_i can’t even remember what the last thing i said to may was_

_is may dead too?_

_there’s so much i wish i’d said to you_

 

——————

 

**All my soulmate stuff is gone. It’s weird how much you were a part of me. I think I’d give anything to hear you gargle the lyrics to Queen, or have one of your dumb spider puns in my arm.**

**I can’t feel your emotions anymore, and I’m 99% sure my eyes are the same colour now. Turns out the lighter color was mine, yours was the darker.**

**The last time I felt you was when the Decimation happened. I felt like I was dying.**

**I can’t feel you here anymore. It’s like there’s no proof you were ever ~~my s~~ here.**

**Does that mean you’re dead?**

 

——————

 

   _so wherever i am has this weird reflective watery ground and i’m nearly certain that there’s some weird patches on my neck and jaw_

_ok i finally took off both suits and there’s a timer on my wrist_

_i can’t be dead, can i?_

_if I was dead i wouldn’t have these, right?_

_who even cares. it’s just grey and empty and there’s no one but me and a lack of you_

 

——————

 

   **I have new soulmate stuff.**

**I just woke up and everything is black and white and grey**

**My sister just said I have white lips??**

**Okay my palms are white too**

**Does this mean I have another soulmate?**

**Does this mean you’re dead?**

**I can’t deal with this.**

**Great, now I have a fucking timer.**

**I miss you, Bubblegum.**

**That nickname so fucking stupid and cheesy.**

**And yet I’d call you that forever if it meant you’d come back.**

 

——————

 

   _My only notion of time passing here is the timer on my wrist_

_It’s hitting close to 00:00:00:00_

_Am I coming back to life?_

_Am I going to die for real?_

_Am I going to meet another soulmate?_

_I can’t deal with that if it happens. I can’t deal with any of this._

 

——————

 

   **There’s this phenomenon called phantom vibration syndrome where you feel your phone vibrate when it’s not, and it’s like it’s happening but with the writing.**

**I keep feeling that weird tingle on my arm, and then I pull up my sleeve and you’re not there.**

**I should stop feeling so sorry for myself.**

**My sister had the same soulmark as my parents, except it’s just a bit of the back of her hand.**

**It turned red hours before the decimation. She said she thinks she must have brushed past them and not realised.**

**It’s faded to black.**

**She’ll never know who it was.**

**Please come back**

 

——————

 

_i think i’m actually coming back_

 

——————

 

   **They’ve reversed the decimation.**

**They actually did it.  
**

**I thought they’d never**

**They really did it.**

**You’re not replying.  
**

**You can’t**

**No**

**This is bullshit**

**What the fuck**

**So you’re just dead?**

**And I’m just supposed to go about my fucking life?**

**They were supposed to bring you back**

**I can’t fucking do this**

   _mj?_

   **Peter???**

**Oh my god**

**Are you actually replying or am I going insane**

   _i’m here, vampire queen_

   **Oh my god**

**What happened??**

**Are you okay?**

**I can’t feel your emotions.**

**I just slapped myself, did you feel that?**

**Are we still soulmates?**

**We have to be, right?**

**Why do I even care about that right now Jesus Christ**

**Are you okay?**

**Are you alive?**

  mj i can’t answer your questions if they’re so rapid fire 

   **YOU FUCKING DIED AND THAT’S YOUR REPLY?**

  sorry, i’m still trying to come to terms with being alive again

   **Sorry**

**I’m just**

**I don’t know**

**Tell me where you are, what’s going on, what happened?**

_i’m on captain marvel’s ship, she says we’ll reach earth soon. thanos got me and 50% of the universe, and now captain marvel and the rest of the avengers got everyone back. something to do with time and the quantum realm and a whole lotta other stuff i don’t understand_

_that’s what mr stark said, at least_

_i mean he explained all the other stuff, i just didn’t get it_

   **But you’re okay?**

   _yeah, for the most part. i feel a bit dead and i’m a bit banged up but i’m okay_

_i can’t see colors though_

   **Me neither.**

   _are we still soulmates?_

   **I don’t know.**

**We’re writing to each other, so we have to be, right?**

**I hope we are, Peter.**

   _me too. i have a timer too, and these patches on my neck and mr stark says my lips are white_

   **I have those too.**

**All of those.**

   _so we’re still soulmates?_

   **I don’t know if I could have anyone else as a soulmate.**

**Are you okay?**

   _it was empty, without you. i got so used to your emotions and your singing and your snark that when you were gone i think i went a little crazy_

_i mean, combine that with vast void and no color and not knowing if anyone was even alive or if i was alive and yeah, i went a little bit crazy_

_i missed you a lot, mj_

   **As much as I hate to say it I missed you too, Peter.**

   _mr stark says it late where you are and that i should stop keeping you up and you should sleep._

   **Sleep? Now? After just finding out you’re okay, after just getting my dad back, after just getting my friends back, after just finding out a whole lot more shit about this soulmate thing?**

**I’d like you to say exactly these words to Stark: “Fuck you, you absolute garbage excuse for a human being, you said Peter would never get in harm’s way under your watch and yet he fucking died so fuck you Stark. Also, May’s going to beat the shit out of you when you get back so I hope you’re prepared for 5 feet and 4 inches of Italian anger because she’s pissed as fuck over your irresponsibility and your absolute disregard for Peter’s life.”**

   _he says he’s sorry and he knows he’ll never make it up to you or may and that you shouldn’t forgive him_

   **Forgiving him was never in question.**

**I’d rather eat my own foot than forgive him.**

   _he says you’re absolutely correct in your judgement of him_

_seriously though, coming from me and not him, you should sleep_

   **Fine.**

   _the timer’s ticking down_

_it’s a day and a bit now, and captain marvel says we should be home in that time_

_i hope it’s ticking down to you_

   **You’re an idiot.**

   _i missed this_

   **I didn’t. You’re a nerd loser and I have never felt an emotion stronger than mild apathy towards you.**

   _goodnight, vampire queen_

   **Dork.**

 

——————

 

   _next time you decide to kiss me maybe give me a little warning next time and maybe don’t do it in front of all the avengers because they’ve been teasing me all morning_

_mr stark gave me the talk™️_

_quill gave me the talk™️ but a lot more x rated until captain america made him stop_

_even that talking raccoon was teasing me_

_even the sentient tree!! at least i think he was, it’s hard to tell_

   **Sorry that I was happy to see you, idiot.**

   **I can take it back anytime.**

_i love you, mj_

_i never said it before_

_i wanted to, but i never got to_

_when i was dead i kept wishing i had_

_and now i have the chance to_

_so yeah, i love you mj_

_michelle?_

   **I love you too, dork.**

   _i get what mom said, about the world exploding._

_it really felt like that when i saw you, like the universe just detonated and everything came back into place_

_i never thought i’d miss colors so much_

_your colors were the best though_

   **Did dying turn you into a romantic sap because if so you’re cancelled and no longer my soulmate bye**

   _you’re right, i’m this close to writing a sonnet to your lips_

_they look so cool by the way. and you’ll never have to buy red lipstick_

   **Sorry for grabbing you by the way. You now have permanent red hands on your neck.**

   _nah, they look cool as heck_

_i kinda miss being able to hear you sing though_

   **As much as I hate to admit it, I missed hearing you hum the Imperial March.**

   _i knew you secretly loved it!_

   **Don’t push it.**

   _i weirdly miss your emotions too. they were calming, in a way_

_even if the feedback loops sucked._

   **I gotta say, I don’t miss the pain transfer**

   _oh absolutely, you stub your toe way to much_

   **Now next time you get stabbed I won’t have to do anything**

   _aw, but who will nurse me back to health?_

   **Ned.**

**Oh yeah, Ned and Betty got together while you were gone.**

   _wait, what?_

   **Yeah. Turns out they’re soulmates. They have music I think, but only what they’re listening to, not singing to. They communicated and figured each other out by song names, it was pretty cool actually.**

   _i was dead and ned was out getting a gf?_

   **You were gone for a while, and shared trauma is a powerful aphrodisiac.**

**You still there?**

   _so what are we?_

   **Not even gonna try and beat around the bush, are you?**

   _like you said, i was dead for a while. a lot of time to think_

_i’d like to be boyfriend and girlfriend_

_do dumb couples things and be normal_

_if you don’t want to though, i understand_

   **Yeah, why not.**

   _you really have a knack for romance, don’t you?_

_mj!_

_uncool_

_i have a press conference later with all the avengers and those guardians AND captain marvel_

_granted i wear a mask but still_

_massive penis on my forehead is hardly the best look_

  **Read 11:47 AM**

 

**Author's Note:**

> people are gonna die in endgame? tony gonna die? cap gonna die? huh? sorry, y’all hear sumn? suddenly i can’t read.
> 
> mj and peter in that trailer absolutely watered my dehydrated spideychelle self bruh i’m so glad we’re getting that canon content laid ease
> 
> my tumblr is @spideybrells i better see y’all follow me for that a+ shit 😩👌


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